Children in Church
"Let the little children come to me."
-- Jesus Christ
Those with children who want to consider participating in our fellowship
will likely experience new and wonderful aspects of churching together
as a family.
First, Small Groups may coalesce and organize based on any number of factors
including what we consider to be secondary doctrinal points, preferences regarding
things like how lessons and worship are performed, and in particular, how
children are accomodated.
For example, one Small Group may wish to have a rotating schedule where children
are taught by adults separately during the main part of the study period.
Meanwhile, another Small Group may wish to include the children in the study
period.
There may be parents who have high expectations of their children's behavior,
for example, expecting their children even as young as 3 years old to sit or
play quietly during the study period.
Conversely, there may be parents who want their children to be more free and
are comfortable with a study period that has more sounds of children playing
and more physical activity.
Our model can accomodate whatever modes people prefer and we take no hard
stand on what those might be for the Small Groups.
People are free to form and coalesce into groups that are comfortable for them.
For the monthly Large Group meeting, children are welcome.
In fact, there are no "children's programs" of any formal sort for our
church as a whole and there are none for the Large Group meeting.
Our meetings are organized and orderly, but that does not mean every
aspect is rigid.
For example, if parents need to move a few chairs and put a blanket
on the floor for their small child to quietly play, they should feel
welcome to do so.
That said, one key point is that the Large Group meeting must
maintain order, which means the children must be kept quiet.
They are free to play quietly, and parents are free to introduce
whatever means are necessary to help their children maintain the
necessary order.
However, children that are loud enough to create a disturbance
should be taken out.
In this article we provide some tips and suggestions for those
with children who are considering being part of our fellowship.
- Lift them Up: Setting expectations for children to be part of the
worship, prayer, and study time is something that is worthwhile to consider.
Talk to your children about the importance of the time spent studying, singing,
and praying together. Help them understand that the time is important and
that their presence and participation in that time is valued. By lifting
them up to a higher role, they will begin to see themselves as an integral
part of the Body of Christ. Of course, children will often need help
getting through a study time; perhaps they will need quiet toys or
books.
Meeting them at their level demonstrates kindness and understanding,
which shows them respect.
Meanwhile, reminding them of how important their involvement is elevates
them.
- Provide Less Interesting Alternatives: A mistake
that parents often make is taking their children outside
of church and letting the children play.
Doing so sends the wrong message to the child, which is
that if they are disruptive enough, they get to go
play even if that means Mom or Dad miss the service.
We recommend making the alternative for the child
far less interesting than sitting quietly in the
Large or Small Group meeting.
For example, sitting with them in the car (and not
giving them toys) sends the right message.
For smaller children, holding them outside but in
an area that is not interesting also helps.
If the alternative is more boring than the meeting,
the child will eventually choose the meeting, which
is exactly what the parents needs to have happen.
- Be Honest About Selfishness: Children at a very
young age know what it means to take something from
someone else. They learn, earlier than we'd often
prefer, what "mine" means. But because of this, children
at a very early age can be taught that being disruptive
is taking something precious away from the other people
in the meeting. It is helpful to be honest with your
children and tell them that you as well as the others
in the church need your special meetings together.
Couching their behavior in this way creates a good
and proper perspective that will help your children
think beyond themselves and will give them the opportunity
to be kind and loving in a very simple way, by just
being quiet.